Reflections of the Past Year

Reflections of the Past Year
Dorcas Annette Walker

I’m starting the New Year out totaling up my gains and losses to use as a gauge to see just where I am on this road of life as I live with the fallout of Lyme disease throughout my system. I shall first whine about what I still haven’t obtained- so feel free to skip the next paragraph as I wouldn’t want to cause anyone else to go into a depressive mode- and then count my achieved goals to leave you with a positive note.

Losses: I still have to spend some days in the recliner due to lack of basic energy, the loss of freedom to jump in my car and run to town on a whim, the ability to keep up with my housework on a regular schedule instead of always falling behind- right now I’m trying to ignore the sink that is overflowing with dirty dishes gnawing at my conscience like a sore tooth, not able to spend the day baking and cooking to my heart’s delight during holidays, my pitiful few goals that I still have to keep reducing in order to try and reach one single objective, not being able to get dressed and combed everyday- I continue to shuffle around in my PJ’s on a regular basis.

Gains: I am feeling stronger than last year and feel like myself most of the time- watch out world here I come!-, I appreciate the basic simple things in life that I once took for granted and try to count at least one blessing each day, I am doing a tiny itsy bit more writing and can work at my computer most days for a short span, the pride and joy of crossing off a task completed no matter how small, I’ve been able to attend church more regularly- what bliss, and have started doing some shopping on my own, I can do housecleaning nearly every week, and I have started taking walks in the woods with my dogs to help gain strength.

Overall I have gained one inch instead of the two and three that I had hoped for, but I am so very thankful for each centimeter of improvement rewarding myself like I have won the Olympics or World Series to keep my spirit and mind ever reaching forward.