It's a Dog's LIfe

It’s a Dog’s Life
Dorcas Annette Walker

Did I really think that life was normal again? Who was I kidding?
Outside my window a beautiful autumn morning mocks me as I lie in bed. I yearn to feel warm sunshine on my face as I work in my neglected flowerbeds or smell the scent of clean wash hanging on the clothesline. Not spending the day stuck in bed. I fight back tears of frustration. I need to be in my kitchen making potato salad for the fish fry tonight at my home church that I’ve looked forward to with so much anticipation for a month. Instead I’m battling a headache and trying to get my bone pain under control. Lucy Lou, my mixed poodle, lies beside me. As if sensing my distress she licks my hand in sympathy. Maybe if I stay in bed for a couple of hours I can make a dessert for tonight instead of fixing potato salad. Chronic fatigue threatens to overwhelm me. I prop my body up with pillows so I can read a book to help keep me awake. I turn a couple pages trying to concentrate. The words blur before my eyes and I feel my body sag sideways. The next thing I know I’m struggling to wake up. Lucy Lou is on her back beside me snoring. A glance at the clock tells me it is past lunch time. I stagger out of bed hanging onto anything handy to help me to stay upright. By the time I fix a yogurt shake, take another pill, and convince Lucy Lou to come back inside I am exhausted. Lucy Lou sits beside me hoping for a tidbit as I drink my lunch and try to read. For some reason every time I eat my dog thinks she needs to share my food. When I ignore her, Lucy Lou flops down and begins chewing on her rawhide bone. My eyes feel heavy and it becomes too much of an effort to read so I let my body roll over and close my eyes in relief. The next thing I know my husband, Dana, is calling my name. He has come home from work. I force myself awake. He assures me that there will be plenty of food. All I need to do is get dressed. I slowly get out of bed hanging onto the side of my dresser bureau trying to get my balance. I feel dizzy, disoriented, and every bone in my body hurts with each step that I take. Lucy Lou runs around me in circles oozing boundless energy that makes me jealous. When I barely make it to the bathroom without falling I realize that I won’t be going anywhere. It is a relief just to get back in bed. My husband and son, Dwight, leave for the fish fry promising to bring me back a piece of catfish. The house once again is silent. I turn on my side trying to lesson the nagging pain in my spine. Outside my window the world has turned to twilight. Lucy Lou flops down beside me and heaves a big sigh. I reach over and pat her silky ears. I know, sweetheart, it’s a dog’s life, huh?

Lyme Light

Lyme Light
Dorcas Annette Walker

I’d like to shed some light on Lyme’s disease, which has become a debatable subject in the medical field. I don’t have any doctorate behind my name. I’m just a patient that lives with an incurable disease. It all started with a tick bite- something I thought at the time insignificant. Now I’m in the third stage battling to get this disease back into remission before it attacks my vital organs. You can read about how it all started at: www.dorcasannettewalker.com. I want to give the disease of Lyme a human face, a voice, to raise awareness of a silent epidemic that changes a person’s entire world. I need a listening ear as I vent my frustrations on my journey back to normal and relight the spark to once again believe that my life will count for something. It seems incredible that a tiny tick could cause so much havoc- reducing my busy lifestyle where I had everything neatly compartmentalized into struggling day by day to function normally. I’ve stumbled into a twilight zone where one is dependent on pills to exist. I struggle amidst the fog in my brain to find a door, an exit, to where life is normal. I yearn to join the mass of humanity that races past me just out of reach. My spirit rebels at living on the sideline with a body that refuses to cooperate. There has to be a light somewhere that will lead me out of this confusion into freedom. So I’ll keep searching, reaching to find the key to unlock my prison.