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Welcome to my Lyme blog where you enter the world of Lyme Disease and get a firsthand glimpse of what Lyme can do to a person!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Life On The Farm

Life On The Farm
Dorcas Annette Walker

Yesterday was a slow day for me, but I was able to get dressed and comb my hair by afternoon- what bliss. I felt civilized at last! I was battling to stay awake with no energy. The rainy chilly day outside matched my mood so I sat in my recliner by the fire and crocheted. Dwight left Sun afternoon to go down to Nashville to stay with his sister and will be coming home Thurs. Eloise (my rabbit foot cat) that usually stays in Dwight's room must have been feeling lonely. I ended up with Eloise stretched out on the top of the recliner at my head, Annabelle (my long hair calico) curled up in my lap purring, while Lucy Lou snoozed at my feet as I crocheted. I almost felt guilty for enjoying it so much. There have been some weeks when it is all I've been able to do to get my newspaper assignments in for my cooking column, Creative Mountain Cookin. Each time I push the button to send in another article and photo, I breathe a sigh of relief and collapse for the rest of the day. I'm always afraid that one week I won't be able to make the deadline. If nothing else it has helped raise my confidence pushing myself beyond what I think I can do and keep my brain cells active. I have learned to work and do stuff while in pain (thankfully there are levels of pain) as long as my pain level stays under a certain point because if I waited until I didn't hurt I'd never do anything. Chronic pain has taught me to stay angry enough to push myself. I refuse to give up! Other days when my pain level is high or I can't stay awake, I go into a zombie mode where I'm in bed and I mentally shut down to survive another day. When my pain level is lower I ignore it the best I can and do what I am able to do- some days are more than others. For each task I accomplish (like get dressed or comb my hair) I mentally act like it is a great achievement to help spur me onward. My biggest frustration is not becoming overwhelmed on the days when I can do a few things as by then my list of stuff to do is staggering.

I have determined this year to find something each day to enjoy no matter how small. Every day that I can I go outside (even if I have to bundle up in my PJ's) for a little bit as it helps clear my mind just to get out of the house. Hopefully it will also build up my strength. I can’t believe how weak I am. On days when I am unable to go outside I sit in my rocker in the sunroom and watch the birds. One day I saw six brilliant red cardinals sitting in my trees surrounding my sunroom while their mates took a turn at my bird feeders. It was awesome! I love (and my cats do too) watching the birds at my feeders. I have managed to keep my feeders filled on the back porch. Dana built an incubator and there are four brown eggs incubating on my table in the sun room. Since the weather dips up and down we have to keep changing the light bulbs to keep the temperature at the right level. Talk about mental stimulation! When Dana is gone Sunday’s preaching, guess who gets to baby-sit his incubating eggs and gather the eggs from the chickens? I got five eggs Sunday- the highest number of eggs yet.