Purple PJ's and Pearls

Purple PJ’s and Pearls
Dorcas Annette Walker

It is Sunday and the house is silent since the guys left for church. I feel like a ghost as I wander from my recliner to the kitchen. I think of all my friends at church and wish that I was there with them. Instead I’m a prisoner of pain and fatigue. I feel depressed wishing that my life was not constantly over-shadowed by the affects of Lyme disease.

I force myself to take a shower even though it expends precious energy; the warm water smoothing aching muscles and hurting joints. I feel like I’ve joined the human race once more. I put on a set of soft lacy lavender/purple PJ’s that my sister gave me for my birthday last year. It was a perfect gift since most days consists of wearing pajamas instead of dresses. Whenever I am unable to get out to church and be with my friends on Sunday I wear my purple PJ’s.

I brush my teeth shuddering at the thought of neglected past days. I used to automatically brush my teeth twice a day. Now nights I struggle to remember if I brushed my teeth that morning or not. The haggard lady staring back at me in the mirror gives me a scare. Anger rises inside at what I have become. I’m tired of dragged around like a pale shadow. I start working on my face plucking stray eyebrow hairs and camouflaging the dark circles under my eyes until I see a resemblance of myself in the mirror. I glance at my watch. It is almost noon. Where has the time gone?

I push myself to brush out hair that hasn’t been combed in three days cringing at the sweaty feel of hair needing to be washed. Then the irony strikes me. I’m the girl who used to fix my long dark hair often times twice a day while traveling with my husband going to church night after night from state to state. I always prided myself on being put together. I took for granted the compliments I received of being told that I always had every hair in place and looked so well groomed. I loved to dress with a bit of pizzazz matching shoes and pocketbooks to flowery hats. Now I can’t keep my hair brushed out daily. I fix the front pulling my hair back into a fancy silver barrette. Then I braid the back and tie the braid up in a lavender scrunchy. I put on my Sunday watch and the strand of pearls my sister gave me. My body feels like I’ve put in a hard day’s work. As I rest in my recliner I feel elegant even though I’m only dressed in my lavender PJ’s.